the adults are coming! the adults are coming!

Monday I am starting my PCA program, and I am nervous. My class is very small, maybe twenty people. Many of them are older than me. Many of them have kids. Many of them seem a bit snobby and uptight, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to relate to them. I'm a weird duck. I have the hardest time connecting to other people, and I wish I didn't. 

Its partly that I'm shy. And its partly that I just don't care about people. I'm too awkward to start a conversation with someone, but as soon as I muster up the courage to do so they start talking about their car payments or bitching about daycare and I regret opening my mouth. I just smile and nod. Just once I'd love to strike up a conversation with somebody random and have them tell me a good story, or something funny. Most people just like having somebody to complain to, complained Sierra Skinner to the digital world. 

Also: I am scared because these people are adults. I am barely an adult. I am very childlike in many ways, and I never realize how naive or inexperienced I am until I get put into a room full of adults. I don't have a car, or a house. I've never had a real job before. I don't have a husband or children. I just move from day to day - cannot relate to anything there. And I find a lot of adults just pity you because you're not "there" in life yet. My sister and her friends still talk to me like a baby sister, because they feel bad that I'm not "there".  And so I shut up like a clam because I feel like a big insignificant baby.

I'm sure it'll be alright though, in the end. I just want to do well in my program, get good placement reviews and rock my way down to Eastern Health. I'm hoping I'll be making the big bucks by this time next year. The thought of $18-20 an hour plus 60 hour weeks and having all kinds of time off makes me drool all over myself, really. If being an adult means having a comfortable wage and a good job, then fuck you Neverland, I'm out of here. Er, well...

Of course, I am terrified of the future. Is this the right path for me? Will I be happy? Will I regret not taking one of the other thousand roads before me, and will it be too late to turn back if I change my mind? Growing up is scary, really. Just gotta take it as it comes, I guess and not worry too much about the who and the how and why and the where of things. Thats what makes people stress out and go crazy. Life is good for now, very good. I shall worry about the bad stuff when it gets here.

For now, I leave you with The New Pornographers, because I cannot stop listening to them ever.

XO

my little cavern

Hello! Its been awhile since I've blogged, forgive me. The last few weeks have been an epic whirlwind of fun. I had an amazing journey with my lovely Sarah, filled with amazing food, tasty drinks (jellyshots & homemade berry wine = love), hilarious television, smoking galore and many, many outbursts of song. Oh, my sweet Sarah. I can't even put it into words. I didn't stop smiling. I ever so needed to get away from the city for some R&R and it was truly that. If the blueberries had been ripe, it would've been almost too perfect. Trust me, we looked (in our PJs). Best vacation ever.

Since I've been back, I've been mostly working, but I've had time for a few adventures. David and I embarked on a sunny, early morning adventure for breakfast and Johnson Geo Centre times. The Geo Centre is like, a museum devoted to... scientific history, one might say? There are exhibits about human evolution, space technology, the planets, oil, genetics (and the Titanic, but that gets a bit old after seeing it three times for me, really... though I love the old furniture). As you can imagine, we pretty much died of happiness. I was especially awe-struck by this:

This, my friends, is an Amethyst geode, and its pretty much the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. They had big enough for me to put my hand in at the Geo Centre, and it made me ache with sparkly purple love. They had one in the gift shop actually, but sadly it was $300. Someday! We also came across these adorable little buggers there:

OH MY GOD THEY'RE MICROBES. They had so many cute ones there, which were also mostly pathogenic! Yes, yes, their gift shop is kind of nerd heaven.  our day also featured apple walnut french toast, coffee,  strolling in the sunshine, yard sales, odd encounters and lots of giggles. It was pretty much magical. The boy is gone to Stephenville now, so I have my whole apartment to myself. I cleaned the entire house from top to bottom, and have been spending lots of time bonding with my bedroom - right now I have nice lighting, comfy clothes, candles, incense, the smell of clean sheets and music. I couldn't be more relaxed.

I must head to the land of dreams, sadly, friends. Overnight inventory with my boss tomorrow night, which should be a treat. Also tales of graveyard adventures, painting and desserts. There is love.

XO