my frantic life

I felt like I had to follow up my last very pessimistic blog post with some happier words. Truth is, I am having the hardest time I've ever had stress-wise and financially, but there are so many little moments of happiness thrown in amongst the hardship that it makes it a little bit easier. I've come to terms with the fact that this is going to be a very poor semester for me. And that I am very rarely going to see my friends throughout it. But in the end, I feel like I am working towards something for the first time in my life AND IT MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD.

So far, my PCA course is going great. I am learning a lot, and my instructor is hilarious, very straight forward, has awesome (frightening) stories and dispenses amazing advice. I've only had a week of class so far and I've already learned crazy amounts. My first test was this afternoon, and I've never had an easier time with a test in my life. I flew through it and there was only one question I even momentarily hesitated on. I guess being genuinely interested and excited helps with the studying. Also - my classmates? Love them. I have so many smoking buddies, and they're all so sweet and nice. You can just tell that we're all going to be a little family by the end of it. Makes me less nervous about the group work, for sure. 

As for my life outside school, I don't have much of one at present. Still volunteering at Planned Parenthood once a week. Still working roughly 26 hours or so a week. Work is oddly a nice rest from school, where I have to be all professional-like and watch my mouth - at work, I can curse up a blue streak and act as silly as I want. I had a fun adventure with friends before the havoc of school got into full swing which was nice - hiding in the park behind my house eating 2 pizzas and 2 garlic fingers in under 10 minutes? We be class acts. It was lovely. 

One great set of tips our instructor has given us so far was about time management - particularly, that saying "no" to people is hard but sometimes you just have to do it if you want to get anything done or have any time to yourself. This is truth. I am the worst person in the world at this, as I feel guilty saying "no" to anybody, but its something I have been trying to start doing already. That, and trying to go to bed early. Lifestyle makeover, much. 'tis a hard thing for a lazy procrastinating girl so set in her ways. 

Tonight: six hours of work, and then coming home to drink beers and watch The Muppets with the boyfriend before wonderful, wonderful sleep. Despite the fact that I will be working for almost 21 hours of it, I am going to try and enjoy this weekend as much as humanly possible.

XO

the adults are coming! the adults are coming!

Monday I am starting my PCA program, and I am nervous. My class is very small, maybe twenty people. Many of them are older than me. Many of them have kids. Many of them seem a bit snobby and uptight, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to relate to them. I'm a weird duck. I have the hardest time connecting to other people, and I wish I didn't. 

Its partly that I'm shy. And its partly that I just don't care about people. I'm too awkward to start a conversation with someone, but as soon as I muster up the courage to do so they start talking about their car payments or bitching about daycare and I regret opening my mouth. I just smile and nod. Just once I'd love to strike up a conversation with somebody random and have them tell me a good story, or something funny. Most people just like having somebody to complain to, complained Sierra Skinner to the digital world. 

Also: I am scared because these people are adults. I am barely an adult. I am very childlike in many ways, and I never realize how naive or inexperienced I am until I get put into a room full of adults. I don't have a car, or a house. I've never had a real job before. I don't have a husband or children. I just move from day to day - cannot relate to anything there. And I find a lot of adults just pity you because you're not "there" in life yet. My sister and her friends still talk to me like a baby sister, because they feel bad that I'm not "there".  And so I shut up like a clam because I feel like a big insignificant baby.

I'm sure it'll be alright though, in the end. I just want to do well in my program, get good placement reviews and rock my way down to Eastern Health. I'm hoping I'll be making the big bucks by this time next year. The thought of $18-20 an hour plus 60 hour weeks and having all kinds of time off makes me drool all over myself, really. If being an adult means having a comfortable wage and a good job, then fuck you Neverland, I'm out of here. Er, well...

Of course, I am terrified of the future. Is this the right path for me? Will I be happy? Will I regret not taking one of the other thousand roads before me, and will it be too late to turn back if I change my mind? Growing up is scary, really. Just gotta take it as it comes, I guess and not worry too much about the who and the how and why and the where of things. Thats what makes people stress out and go crazy. Life is good for now, very good. I shall worry about the bad stuff when it gets here.

For now, I leave you with The New Pornographers, because I cannot stop listening to them ever.

XO

look closer

Dave and I are the silliest little science kids ever. While he leans moreso towards dealings with chemistry and electricity I am - as you well know - all about the life sciences. I heart biology and medicine. I like the way giant latin names sound rolling around on my tongue. I like looking at plants, or body parts, or anything and being able to dissect them with my eyes - knowing what each part is by name and what its function is. Its a joy. A sweet, nerdy joy.

So I pretty much turned into a squealy schoolgirl when I came home from work the other night and found this beauty sitting on my coffeetable, with a very enthusiastic "EARLY BIRTHDAY PRESENT!" written on top of its packaging: 

(Picture not taken by myself, of course.) Okay, so its from 1993. Parts were missing from the kit, and it only goes up to 80X magnification but STILL. I love looking at things under a microscope, but it always hurts my eyes after awhile - now it doesn't have to! I can just look at a screen! The microscopic world is so fascinating. Its just incredible seeing the individual building blocks that make up life. Being able to see things on a cellular level is such a different experience. Whenever I used to look through microscopes in bio lab, I'd always look up  from whatever I was staring at avidly and have a moment of surprise when everything just looked stationary and concrete.

To show the beauty of magnification:

  

A rose.

Rose petal cells. Do they not look like an abstract painting? 

So my goal for this little present is pretty much just to get the most enjoyment I can possible get from it. I'm going to be making slides of pretty much anything, so watch out for your hair and fingernails, friends. Everything is prey to the MICROSCOPE. The whole world shall be going on my slides. Also, I might get into doing some drawings again too - trying to follow the exact rules of specimen drawing, of course, which I forget. I wish I hadn't tossed out my old lab manuals. Sigh.

XO

protège moi

I've noticed that lately, my musical choices have been extremely nostalgic ones. I've been drifting back to bands and songs I listened to in high school, and its like stepping into a time machine, and its all just beautiful images without all the weight and tired trembling.

Its amazing how much emotion and memory music can evoke. The way lilac bushes smelt on a particular damp morning - walking home alone in red heels on a summer morning - the sound of the ocean surging, just as the sky is starting to wake up. I just close my eyes and I'm there, in tiny pictures between the notes of songs. Music is really the best way to climb into the past. Music sort of plants its roots in me most when I'm on a walk, on a mission, alone with my thoughts, so many of my best musical memories concern walking - to something, away from something, smiling, in tears, just walking for the sake of it, walking because I'm too drunk to go home just yet. 

Everything changes, doesn't it? I wonder what my soundtrack for this particular year of my life will be. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

XO

my little cavern

Hello! Its been awhile since I've blogged, forgive me. The last few weeks have been an epic whirlwind of fun. I had an amazing journey with my lovely Sarah, filled with amazing food, tasty drinks (jellyshots & homemade berry wine = love), hilarious television, smoking galore and many, many outbursts of song. Oh, my sweet Sarah. I can't even put it into words. I didn't stop smiling. I ever so needed to get away from the city for some R&R and it was truly that. If the blueberries had been ripe, it would've been almost too perfect. Trust me, we looked (in our PJs). Best vacation ever.

Since I've been back, I've been mostly working, but I've had time for a few adventures. David and I embarked on a sunny, early morning adventure for breakfast and Johnson Geo Centre times. The Geo Centre is like, a museum devoted to... scientific history, one might say? There are exhibits about human evolution, space technology, the planets, oil, genetics (and the Titanic, but that gets a bit old after seeing it three times for me, really... though I love the old furniture). As you can imagine, we pretty much died of happiness. I was especially awe-struck by this:

This, my friends, is an Amethyst geode, and its pretty much the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. They had big enough for me to put my hand in at the Geo Centre, and it made me ache with sparkly purple love. They had one in the gift shop actually, but sadly it was $300. Someday! We also came across these adorable little buggers there:

OH MY GOD THEY'RE MICROBES. They had so many cute ones there, which were also mostly pathogenic! Yes, yes, their gift shop is kind of nerd heaven.  our day also featured apple walnut french toast, coffee,  strolling in the sunshine, yard sales, odd encounters and lots of giggles. It was pretty much magical. The boy is gone to Stephenville now, so I have my whole apartment to myself. I cleaned the entire house from top to bottom, and have been spending lots of time bonding with my bedroom - right now I have nice lighting, comfy clothes, candles, incense, the smell of clean sheets and music. I couldn't be more relaxed.

I must head to the land of dreams, sadly, friends. Overnight inventory with my boss tomorrow night, which should be a treat. Also tales of graveyard adventures, painting and desserts. There is love.

XO

somebody cure the skies

Today has been rather wonderful so far, despite the fact that it began for me at 7am. Or perhaps its so lovely because it began at 7am. I woke up to kisses and coffee and sunshine, and took the bus downtown to Water Street West to get the last part of my TB skin test, a tetanus shot and some forms signed by the oh-so-sweet nurse Stacy. I love that particular part of downtown so much, and its a shame that I never go there. I still haven't been to the train museum, and I can never seem to get down there when the antique shops are open, but I want to explore both in the near future!

Afterwards, I decided to treat myself to a good breakfast, it being 9am by this point, and my belly still empty. So I dove into Atlantic Place, picked up this month's issue of Wired (James Franco. IUDs. Medical ethics. This issue was more or less made for me!) and went to Cora's, where I had some delicious combination of cottage cheese, a poached egg, toast and of course DELICIOUS FRUIT. It bore the oh-so-cute title of "Peggy's Poached". I was looking for something light and delicious without any grease, and it was pretty much perfection. 

It pretty much looked exactly like that, except with more nectarines! MMMM NECTARINES <3

One thing that - well, I can't say "bothered" exactly, since nothing could cramp my style today, really - but amused me, I guess, was the INSANE weather. When I left my house this morning, I wore shorts and a t-shirt. It was 22 degrees and sunny out. When I left Cora's, it was pouring outside - like the sky had basically just ripped open and flooded the streets. You know the sort of rain where you stand outside for under a minute and you're drenched to the skin. This went on for about an hour or so. By the time I got halfway home on the bus, the sun was crawling out from behind the clouds again and the sky was blue. Its been raining on and off since, really. So weird. St. John's, your skies are ill and confused.

I've spent my time home watching Weeds and doing laundry. I have also enveloped a special special to be mailed to Ms. Jarl very soon! I had funny times at the Post Office buying the envelope, they are so nice there! 

So all and all, I had a good day. This is what you do when you have a silly schedule and the weather is schizophrenic - keep a smile on and make the best of it. It was really a beautiful day. 

What's your favorite thing to do alone on a summer's day? 

XO

from the top of the mountain

I just finished reading Douglas Adams and Mark Carwardine's book "Last Chance to See" (for the second time in life) and I am so depressed now. The book is a collection of tales about their travels around the world to look for endangered species, and is essentially about what humans can do to help protect and save these beautiful creatures. If any of you have ever read Adams' "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" series, you know what a hysterically funny guy he is. The book is filled with the same kind of humor, except picture Douglas Adams himself, say, in China drawing pictures of condoms for baffled store clerks because him and the crew need them to cover a microphone with so they record underwater noise. 

What makes me really sad is the fact that since the book's publication - in the late 80s, early 90s - some of the species they went to look for in the book have actually gone extinct. Like the Baiji river dolphin, which is what they went to China to find. The dolphins were almost entirely blind, since they lived in very murky waters anyways and relied almost entirely on echolocation. But, because the river became filled with traffic from boats and hence a whole lot of noise, the dolphins echolocation wasn't so useful anymore and they started getting killed by boats. And getting caught in nets. And often eaten. Sigh. As of 2006 - almost 6 years ago - apparently they have gone entirely extinct.

Then theres the mountain gorillas - oh, the poor mountain gorillas! While they aren't extinct, as of last year there was only thought to be around 800 of them. Which may seem like a lot, but that number is probably dwindling as I type this. They live in Africa, which is not the easiest environment to live in considering its extremely hot and incredible war torn. They are being poached and their habitats are being destroyed. Also, because they share so much of our DNA, they are susceptible to many human illnesses. They are beautiful, curious, sociable animals. Douglas mentions in his book how he was sitting near one, writing something on a notepad when the gorilla came over and touched his pen and paper. Not to take it, just to see what it was and to see what it felt like. 

Sigh, I want to sit with gorillas just once before I die. It seems like such a beautiful experience. So strange to be around creatures that are so like us and yet so very different. Hopefully, somehow, they'll be around for a long time to come. I want to live in a world where there are still lions and tigers and gorillas and elephants and whales when I'm a little old lady!

I'm done with my rant for today. Save the animals, friends. Save the animals!

XO

skin and bones

I barely feel like I'm in school anymore! Well, as of yesterday I'm not I guess. But despite the fact that I had an incredibly lazy academic summer post-intersession, I still have that stupid stressful school ache at the back of my head. You all know the one. So its exciting to know that I have a bit more time to myself.

I need novels to read. And good ones. People, please make suggestions! <3

Since I made my lovely book purchases yesterday, I've more or less decided that a scientific reading binge is in order again - I go on one every so often. So I will probably be reading (and re-reading) some of the classic ones I have lying around: my new acquisitions "Gray's Anatomy" and "College Zoology", as well as "The Third Chimpanzee" by Jared Diamond, and I've also had a copy of "The Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin forever and haven't started it yet. When did I become so illiterate? I started re-reading "Last Chance to See" by Douglas Adams and Mark Carwardine today and I am dying, really. Its one of the funniest books in existence, and also one of the most interesting. Douglas Adams was so cool, sigh. If you like his "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" books you'd pretty much fall in love with this: think the exact same kind of humor, but him trekking through the jungle with people and having no idea what's going on and looking for komodo dragons and fat birds and things. So wonderous.

Other books I have a hankering to read:

... its better if you just don't question it. I am really sad about this summer, I feel like its senseless to even keep hoping for consistently nice weather, so I guess I have to enjoy the rain before the snow comes? Damn you, Newfoundland. I am going to make the rest of it count just as much as it would if it were 30 degrees everyday and all my friends just wanted to hit the beach and get ice cream every waking moment of their lives. I'll just do it with sweaters and jackets and good books and hot drinks instead.

XO

anatomically correct

I'm having such a hard week. Not because anything crazy is happening in the least, no worries, I just feeling like I haven't stopped all week! Its all very productive and useful, but I feel very drained by it. This week I've:

- gotten up at 7am three times, tomorrow will be the 4th (not used to this at all anymore, and I still go to bed at 2am every night, er, morning)

- taken the bus about 5 times, which is never fun

- walked for about 4 hours total (no big deal, but i can't even explain how lazy i am lately... walking to the bathroom is an effort for me sometimes)

- volunteered at the regatta with planned parenthood doing this lottery type thing; i spent almost 5 hours yelling at crowds of people at the top of my voice and stayed an hour and a half later than i was supposed to (because i was late and felt bad)

- gone to 1 class... for under a minute (to hand in a paper)

- gotten a TB vaccination which i had to walk/bus down to Water Street for, twice (and I have to return next week)

- worked for 12 hours, so far... today will make it 18, 25 total by midnight on Saturday 

- slept for fewer hours than I'll be working this week

- tomorrow, have to arise early again for four hours of volunteer training at Planned Parenthood

Its all extremely productive and working towards, essentially, my PCA program this fall and my hopeful future RN degree. I comfort myself with images of myself wearing expensive winter coats and new glasses and being able to buy enough groceries to feed 6 people when I'm making over twice the amount of money per hour that I am now. Its a nice image, really. Also, being super duper productive feels a lot better than sitting on the couch in my bathrobe watching reruns of Glee and the Tudors. 

The best part about today: I had delicious coffee downtown at Chatters by myself in the fog, and it was nice and quiet and pretty. Also, I went to Afterwards Secondhand Bookstore and found a copy of "Gray's Anatomy" (the medical textbook, not the series) and a random textbook about zoology from the '40s. I realize I am a nerd, but you don't know how pleased I am - I've wanted a copy of Gray's forever and I got both of these books for under $20! Sometimes I miss living so close to downtown. 

XO

nothing but the rain

Yesterday Sarah and I went on an adventure to look for pretty paper that ended in us giggling in a random parking lot at 10pm, smoking and drinking lemonade. It was a pretty beautiful time. Though we were unsuccessful in our pretty paper search (though there were some cuties, just nothing that was worth spending our last few pennies on), I did pick up a pack of oil pastels, which is a medium I've missed working with a lot. They're like crayons on crack, and are so fun and easy to use. I have watercolor wax pastels but they just aren't the same (though also very fun, and just as portable). I started drawing a self-portrait, and have come to the conclusion (yet again) that I fail at drawing facial features. This is why most of the things I draw don't have faces. NOTHING SHOULD HAVE A FACE.

Between monetary stress, all my friends slowly disappearing into the void and twiddling my thumbs waiting for next semester I feel like I'm pretty much going to go insane. Combine that with volunteering, working and being at the tail-end of my current (absolutely ridiculous) semester and you have a perfect recipe for one stressed out Sierra. Its a hard time to be alive, friends.

Things I want to do over my almost two month break to comfort myself:
- Read about anatomy.
- Get some more Philippa Gregory novels (she writes TERRIBLE historical romance novels about Tudor era England that I'm slightly addicted to, such a guilty pleasure).
- Draw and paint more.
- Write more poetry.
- Take a fuckton of epic, epic baths.
- Try to save up some money for schooltimes, possibly by depositing half of every pay cheque I get into the bank of David Stacey.
- Smoke a thousand cigarettes.
- Actually buy groceries and make myself something delicious to eat. I haven't bought "real" groceries in what feels like months. Can somebody please describe to me what an apple tastes like?
- Write letters to Lenore and Amki and make little things for them.


My boyfriend's 23rd birthday is tomorrow. I remember celebrating his 16th birthday with him over homemade pizza and root beer, so this is an odd thing really. I am trying to think of something I could possibly maybe make for him. Any suggestions, friends?


XO

so say we all

Excuse me friends while I have a nerdgasm all over your computer screen! It'll only take a moment, I swear. 

I have so much difficulty putting Battlestar Galactica into words. Allan and I have been watching the series for over two years now I think, and we're one episode away from the series finale. 

Its one of the best shows I've ever seen. It dazzles me what a complex universe they've created in just four seasons. Its about the end of the world, essentially. It all begins when humanoid robots (who, biologically, are entirely human... there are big clunky metal models as well) wipe out most of the human race in a nuclear attack. 50,000 people remain, and are left drifting through space in a fleet of ships. They are looking for a new planet to call home. The show has so many facets to it. It focuses on military strife, the reconstruction of the government, human ethics, worker's rights, the horrors of war. One of the great conflicts on the show is with religion - the humans are polytheists and essentially believe in the Greek gods, while the robots are monotheists and believe there is only one true God. The humans are hunted through space by the robots (who are called cylons), and must escape them at every turn.

I know a lot of people have an aversion to sci-fi but seriously... this show does a better job of portraying human relationships and depicting a believable system of society than a lot of shows I've watched. The show is largely about what it truly means to be human, and poses so many ethical questions. It has made me ponder and question my beliefs so many times. I'm in love with each character. The lady president with terminal breast cancer - the brave admiral of the fleet who treats each of his crew members like his own children - the amazing young pilots, who are totally badass. Even the cylons themselves, who become more and more human as the series progresses. I also admire how they live in a completely equal and gender neutral society - within the military ranks, everybody is called "sir", and the women on the show are just as tough and strong and capable  as any of the male characters, sometimes moreso... way it should be! Sigh, I don't want it to ever end.

Which television series have you all fallen in love with? Did it crush your heart to see them come to an end?

XO

its always better when we're together

Its a hard time in life. Dave has taken to calling me Eeyore, because all week I've been making suggestions to myself that are either peppy or practical or what have you, then following them by a very unenthusiastic "but what's the goddamn point". Yesterday sort of showed me that there is in fact a point. 

I was in a sad little mood, and my lovely Sarah and I went down to a duck pond with ice cream and chicken fingers. We talked about life over a million cigarettes, while the sky painted pictures with clouds for us and old people held hands. We watched a true display of friendship when a guy fearlessly jumped into the scuzzy pond to rescue his friend's dog. We got crafty together on a park bench, and eventually our sighs of anguish and frustration turned into silly smiles and laughter. Afterwards we went to bulk barn and I giggled at my boyfriend's enthusiasm for peanut butter and lentils. Later that night, I got to hug a friend I haven't seen in months and tell her stories, surprised that my life hasn't stopped completely and I actually have stories to tell. I have a life. Stuff happens in it. Some of those things are wonderful. 

My point here being that I have been reminded of my own personal mantra - that life is a cycle, and where there is good bad will follow, and where there is bad good will follow. Its been one of the hardest summers of my life, I've lost so many beautiful things. I've been stressed. I've been poor. I've questioned and cursed and been furious. But where there is darkness, there is light. I'm just grateful for the people I really care about now and all the things that make me happy. Life will get become incredible again in little baby steps, as it always does. Its already happening. And even despite the badness, I can still honestly say that I am happy, and that I am grateful.

So, in keeping with this trend of happiness, I'd like to make a list of the things that are making me happiest now, and are more or less sustaining my life force. Here goes!

1. Memories.
2. Big, green leaves catching the sunlight everytime I walk out my front door.
3. Good cups of tea, like earl gray and the lemongrass matte I bought yesterday! Its heaven for my aching throat.
4. GIANT BAG OF MINESTRONE. Also from my Bulk Barn adventure. I love soup, and minestrone is my favorite, so I am a happy girl at present.
5. Battlestar Galactica times with Allan. I'm a sucker for a good sci-fi series, and as we're drawing to the show's end my breath is taken away more and more by the utter brilliance of the writers, the actors, the composers. Its incredible in every way.
6. Writing. I've been writing lots of poetry lately, and it is making certain parts of my heart feel at peace with other parts.
7. My beautiful friends, who are always there for me no matter what.
8. My job, which may sound funny, but its so nice to be making money again and have a place where I can shut off my brain completely! Its a blessing sometimes.
9. I am warm all the time.
10. Listening to '90s music.
11. Reading Kurt Vonnegut novels.
12. Clean, wonderful smelling laundry.
13. Fruit.
14. Dreaming about the future.
15. Painting and drawing again.
16. My boyfriend's silly dances.

Not anything particularly extraordinary, but its the little things, you know?


XO

the swedish princess

Three years ago, this message appeared in my Facebook indox. I didn't realize it then, but this was one of the most important pieces of internet correspondence I'd ever receive. What began as a small voyage across Canada for the sake of poetry and meeting some very special people turned into some the most amazing years. I'll never forget when Amkiram arrived at my door, on one foggy St. John's morning. She leapt straight into my arms and we had the longest, squealiest hug that two people who've never met face to face before have ever shared. I knew immediately that she was a beautiful soul. 

I've never known anybody so incredible before. She is stunningly beautiful. Friendly, warm, intelligent, talented. I've never seen her fail at anything, and she never quits. She's determined, fierce. She is the kindest, most loving person I've ever met. She's the most understanding person I've ever met. She sees beauty in everything. She's the kind of person whose smile alone makes you feel like you are a good person, you are beautiful, and that you are loved.

She came about at a time in my life when I needed to feel those things, and I don't think I'd be such a positive and optimistic person today if it weren't for her. And I think that if Amki had never come here my life would be entirely different. I'm certainly grateful that she did. Today when I said goodbye to her, I thanked her. Because what she brought into my life was the most beautiful, precious gift I've ever received. She gave me myself. She gave me light. She gave me one of the most beautiful friendships I've ever had, and I hope that it will endure until we're old ladies.

I know she's going to do amazing in university, that her life in Sweden will be wonderful and beautiful. I have a million amazing memories of her that nothing can ever take away from me. I just wish we had more time, there are so many things we never got a chance to do. But I know we haven't seen the last of each other - our paths will cross again.

Like I said. This isn't the end, its just the beginning.

I love you.

XO

ventricular diastole

Today is a good day so far. I woke up to little kisses and warm coffee, spent the morning studying and drawing weird little pictures, and then wrote my last anthropology exam of the semester, yay! The course doesn't have a final, thank god. It was two essay questions which I wrote very long, incoherent pieces for but like with most essays I'm hoping my good writing and ability to bullshit like a pro wins out. I was kind of rotted because he gave everybody a chance to look over their notes beforehand, which gave people that had notes (not I!) an unfair advantage. Silly summer semester. I shall not miss you. I have 1/3 of my final essays complete, another half done, and the first one has been contemplated. And as for finals - one take home essay assignment thing, and a political science final on August 11th. I guess I really can't complain.

I like biology and anatomy, I like it a lot. So I was pretty delighted when I found THIS website which is full of cute little pieces of anatomically correct jewelry! Like this pretty little heart necklace that I want around my neck immediately.

SO PRETTY! They also have earrings shape like neurons and lots of other fun math and science stuff. Oh, fun jewelry how I adore thee.

In other news, I've started writing and painting lots again and I'm loving every moment of it! I guess its because I've been so bored and thoughtful lately, but whatever the cause I'm glad to be at it again. Its been so very long!

Life is changing. But thats for another post.


XO

people are just people like you

We are defined by our relationships to people. For good or bad, our lives will always revolve heavily around the people in them, no matter how hard we try to create our own separate orbit. Even if your friends are being fuck ups and you lock yourself away (which happens to everybody at some point), there are still the people you work with. The people you buy your cigarettes from. The people you either smile or glare at on the streets. The people who sit next to you in class. No matter where you go, you are going to encounter people, and they are going to have an impact on you and your day, no matter how small an impact it may be. 

In remembering this, I compiled this little guide to dealing with human beings and trying to keep a level head while doing so. Inspired by guru Dave, the stress of human relationships, and the sunny bubble I've created around myself (its the only way I can deal with life). 

SIERRA'S GUIDE TO HUMANS

1. When people are frustrating you, remember its sometimes better to back into the shadows and let the situation resolve itself. While confrontation is often a good thing, sometimes it does more harm than good. 

2. Imagine how the other person is feeling and try to meet them in the middle. 

3. Always keep a positive attitude. Life is multi-faceted, like a diamond - and sometimes there is blackness, sometimes there are rainbows. You have to turn it over and keep looking to see the whole situation sometimes - and there might be more bright spots than you think.

4. Take solace in your own company. Sometimes this is necessary to fully appreciate your place in the world. Sometimes this even allows you to appreciate the qualities other people possess that make them special. Like when you're home alone and you can't reach the crackers on the top shelf!

5. You are not a safety net. If people mistake you for one, set them straight. Though its definitely okay to be one sometimes.

6. Remember that there is good in everyone, and every human being has the capacity to do something wonderful and beautiful. Try not to take everything at face value. 

7. You can observe the tiger pit, you can comment on it, but if you don't have any reason to be in the tiger pit yourself its best to stay out of it. If you feel like you want to, you're free to stick around to help dress the wounds.

8. Try to make the best of every situation. If people are pissing you off, channel that negative energy into something productive! Being angry gets you nowhere but more angry. Draw a picture, make a delicious meal, go for a run, clean your house... all these things help when you're feeling overwhelmed.

9. Assumptions are bad. If you don't hear the full story straight from the bard's mouth, don't jump to conclusions. It makes things ever so much worse.

10. And finally, a quote that I mentioned in a previous post (which I think everybody should swear by): Nothing is ever as bad as it seems. If you threw all your problems in a pile and saw the problems of others, you'd be snatching your problems back as fast as humanly possible.  

Thats all, folks! I hope some of you find this insightful, at least. Just remember - where there is sadness, happiness is just around the corner! We live in a giant wheel, and it keeps turning.

XO

future blues

Too much thinking about the future lately! And I thought living in the past was a scary thing, at least I know what happened and wasn't left chewing my fingernails in anxious speculation. 

Life is changing greatly - people are breaking up, moving away, getting jobs, graduating... its SCARY, thats what it is. I like to think that moving forward and growing up is a positive thing, but when I really think about what that means I break out in cold sweats. Sure, the idea of people moving away and getting houses and jobs and babies and husbands/wives is a sweet little idea, but. Those are the first steps to crazy mortgage debt, divorces, people dying, diseases, old age, etc. I want everybody I know to have a fairytale life, where they live happily ever after and die of old age in their beds, but oh wait - this is real life.

I don't WANT to grow up, can we all just please stay 20 and beautiful and carefree forever? When I think about getting divorced, my hair turning gray, my skin wrinkling, my parents dying... ahhh. Stop it, life. This is why living in the present is a beautiful thing, you can just take it as it comes and worry about things when you get there. I don't want to keep checking a map, I just wanna watch the trees blur past me on the highway until I get there. Can I please? 

I've ripped out my hair enough this post, I think! I know you're all just as scared as me, so I shall let Mr. Waits finish wailing on my behalf. Positive thoughts, people.

XO

whose side are you on?

In this post, I'd like to do something I rarely do and indulge my dorky fascination with the human body and medicine. Over the past few weeks I've been overindulging in House and dreaming about being a nurse, and through both pastimes I've become reacquainted with various medical subjects that I find fascinating. The one I'd like to talk about today is corpus callosotomy, which is a fancy term for "split-brain surgery".

The human brain is the most sophisticated and advanced thing on the planet, and is very under appreciated. Scientifically, we haven't even begun to understand everything its capable of. Fuck iPhones, your brain is SO much cooler. Its composed of a variety of parts like a big squishy puzzle, and like a puzzle, some of the parts can be removed without compromising the entire picture. 

Before I launch into what exactly corpus callosotomy is, and what is its purpose, there are a few things I should explain about the human brain. First off, your brain is composed of two hemispheres - the left and right. They are joined in the middle by a structure known as the corpus callosum - its kind of like a bridge between the two hemispheres. While some may think of the brain as operating as a whole, the two hemispheres kind of work on an assembly line basis. Each hemisphere processes and sends out different signals, and they send these signals back and forth between each other, enabling you to go about your daily thoughts and functions.

And thats more or less the division there! And what may seem even more surprising is the fact that when you see something say with your left eye, the information is sent to the right side of your brain, and vice versa. And the same thing with your hands. The corpus callosum allows the communication of acquired information between the two hemispheres of your brain. Like when you see a word, and you immediately visualize that word in your head - thats a direct result of the two sides of your brain working together!

Now, corpus callosotomy itself involves the complete  or partial severing of the corpus callosum. Which may sound barbaric and on par with a lobotomy, but its actually very beneficial to some patients. The most typical circumstance for this surgery is when the patient is suffering from epilepsy (may seem extreme, but let me tell you, seizures are not fun!), and is usually only used as a last resort. Since, as I mentioned previously, the corpus callosum is the "bridge" between the two brain hemispheres, communication between them ceases or is extremely minimal after the operation. Memory, control, and attention span are affected after the operation, but one can lead a relatively normal life after the corpus callosum is severed.

And the interesting part - after the surgery, if a split-brain patient is shown an image in their left visual field, they won't be able to name the image that they're seeing, since the mechanisms for speech association are located in the left brain hemisphere - but they can draw a picture of it! But only with their left hand, since that hand is controlled by the right side of the brain. (Right controls left, left controls right).

Thats all, friends! Perhaps soon I'll make another both about fun medical things, and hope that people find it as neat as I do (but probably not, haha).


XO

the crimson petal and the white

Allan Ford and I have a special bond over many things - men, books, movies, music, and good television. We like nothing better than to curl up in his bed together for hours and watch amazing television. We laugh, we cry, we criticize, we feel deep embarrassment, we get into intense philosophical and psychological debates. I think a dream come true for us would be getting to direct and write our own series, but alas.

One of our mutual favorite books is "The Crimson Petal and the White" by Michel Faber. Its set in Victorian London, and follows the life of a prostitute named Sugar. She has the distinction of being incredibly articulate and well-read for a woman of her age and class, and when she's not, ahem, "servicing" gentlemen she spends her time composing a novel in which she gets her revenge upon all the men who have violated and wronged her in her life. She yearns to escape to something better. Luckily, she becomes the mistress and obsession of a man who owns a successful perfume and soap company - and leaves her old life behind. But thats just the beginning.

We heard for years that there was talk of making this incredible book into a movie - with Kristen Dunst, of all people, as Sugar. These, so far, have proved  to only be rumors. However, the BBC did a four-part miniseries based on the novel, and let me tell you friends, its an exquisite piece of awesomeness. The actors are superb and its so faithful to the novel in both script and atmosphere. Its one of the most beautiful creations I've ever seen, and exceeded all my expectations for a screen adaptation of the novel.

I beg you, if you have four hours to spare and want something visually pleasing, moving, and well acted to occupy your time, go find it! And read the book - its over 1000 pages long, but its amazing how fast those pages fly. 

XO

all families are psychotic

I've been doing a lot of thinking about families lately. Watching "The Royal Tenenbaums" for the 1000th time (such a lovely film) and reading Douglas Coupland will do that to you, I guess. Also, I find when people outside my intimate circle ask me questions about my family I don't really know how to respond. All my best friends know all the juicy details about my family already and think they're a laugh, but these are understanding people I've known for years. I don't want to sugarcoat my family's craziness, but nor do I want to launch into detailed explanations. Its a tough call.

But maybe everybody sugarcoats their family when they talk about them. My sister's upcoming baby and our family tree branching off has made me think a lot about this lately - what the hell is that boy going to think of us? Who is he going to be within the grand crooked circle of Skinners? Is he going to inherit anything scary from us, either mentally or physically? I bless him with brown hair and blue eyes and a long, healthy, happy life. 

I also don't really understand anybody that has a close relationship with their family. I have friends that rush off to call their mums and pops 3 times a day and I find myself baffled by this. The only time I ever talk to my parents is if something is wrong or I need money or my brother is off his rocker again. I see them twice a year, and while I get occasional pangs of longing to sit around and chain smoke and curse up a blue streak over the latest episode of "American Idol", it passes pretty quickly. Don't get me wrong, my family is close in a way, but I more or less think of them as really good friends I'm not that close to anymore that enjoy supporting me financially sometimes. We definitely have the best of times when we're together.

I want to have my own family someday, and all these things worry me. I don't want to have an estranged daughter, or never hear from my children, and have them walking about saying "my mom is seriously fucked up" to their friends five times a day. I guess the only way to prevent this is to just NOT REPRODUCE. 

XO

are you nobody, too?

I've never lived in the present at all before the last few years of my life. Before that I was always dwelling on the past, or some imaginary world I created for myself (what can I say, I was incredibly lonely until high school). Since I've grown up I've found myself incredibly grounded in the present, and in reality for the first time. Its given me many things I never knew I could possess, like self-confidence, strength, happiness and a real sense of purpose in life - but I feel like it took away a lot of things from me that I still miss. 

 I used to write. I used to write a lot. I have notebooks sitting around from high school that are filled with 15 page rants written in a single sitting while chainsmoking and sipping green tea. I can't do that anymore, and I wish I could.

Most people feel embarrassed by their past writing, and I am naturally extremely embarrassed by my very early poetry from the age of 12 to about 15 or so. But some of the pieces I wrote from the ages of 16 to 19 give me little chills and make me miss being able to think like that, let alone write like that. Its like as soon as I hit the age of 20 some sort of switch flipped inside my head and I became a different person. 

I guess I just miss that feeling of stuff mattering on such a deep level. I don't really feel that anymore about anything, I get bored so easily. When I was younger I used to have this special connection to my jewelry and clothes and felt like some objects were absolutely sacred. I don't feel that anymore. Things are just things, people are just people. Life is just life. Sigh. 

XO

a girl & a boy.

 (This video is a bit odd, but I think its incredibly beautiful and the song makes my heart explode more or less everytime I hear it... which is about a 100 times a year for the last 6 or 7 years.)

This past week has been pretty lovely. I got myself a job! At Marie's Mini Mart. I get to wear khaki pants and a dorky little paisley scarf and sell cigarettes and bologna. Doesn't get any better than that. Oh, maybe it does... I got a fucking 70% in chemistry, which made me woop for joy and dance a bit. All the sweat and tears paid off, I suppose.

This Friday I got to celebrate my wonderful country's 144th birthday with all my best friends, on Mullock Street's very pimped out back deck. There was lots of wine floating around and weiners and Amki made this homemade potato salad (WITH HOMEMADE MAYO) that pretty much killed me. We all hung out on the street to watch the fireworks and oooh-ed and awww-ed quite a bit. It was fun. I got home at about 5am, when it was broad daylight out. Can't complain. I spent the night in a minimal drunken state around a blazing firepit with three of my very favorite people in the world, so seeing the sun come up wasn't so terrible a thing. I felt so warm and sleepy and happy and went to bed smiling, I assure you.

July 1st was also special because it was myself and the boyfriend's 7th anniversary. After 7 years I guess its not a big deal, but everytime it rolls around I'm filled with warm happy feelings and delightful memories and so much gratefulness and love. I got him Matthew Good's new CD (which was totally also a present for me... we listened to it on repeat all morning) and he bought me lunch and beers and we wandered in the sunshine. There was an old man on a balcony on the 2nd floor of the Yellowbelly playing folk songs on the accordion and singing, and all the old folks on the Trapper John's deck were wooing and singing along. It was a magical sight to behold.

So yes, I've had quite the lovely weekend. There really isn't anything like surrounding yourself with beautiful friends and love - AND SUNSHINE. The sun finally came back, and my back is a lovely tinge of scarlet just to prove it, and I am wearing my sunburn proudly. Who knows when I'll get another.

For the thousandth time... I am really so grateful and happy, always. My life feels so spot on of late, and I can't find a single thing to complain about really. A job, school, good grades, a beautiful boyfriend, the greatest friends a girl could ask for, sunshine... really, what else could I want? Maybe to win the lottery, but I don't want to jinx anything.

XO

strange history

Oh, friends! Oh! It is so very lovely to be back in this wonderful seaside city. Don't get me wrong, I adored being in Stephenville, and I had a little cry after my dad dropped me off at the airport (made worse because I was clutching my newly acquired Fozzie Bear stuffy, so I probably did look like a big baby), but being back here makes me feel really, really HOME. 

I had some brief and wonderful visits with good friends yesterday, and spent the evening snuggling and giggling with Dave, and had the best sleep of my life. I woke up bright and early, without a stuffy nose or puppies crawling on my face, so I feel very happy indeed. Now its coffee and a grilled cheese sandwich before I start my Russian History class! Excitement! 

Also, this evening I have a job interview with Marie's Mini Mart. The lady there sounds incredibly sweet and awesome, and I can't believe she actually waited until I got back from a 5 day vacation to interview me. I hope this means she'll give me a job! My fingers are crossed. Tomorrow, I'll be getting my jazz finished up for my Eastern College application, so I am hoping by Thursday morning that I'll more or less have the rest of my year figured out. Its a comforting change.

I have this strange and terrible habit of going back in time when I'm in Stephenville. Mine and Dave's anniversary is coming up in a few days (7 years, what the fuck), and I was thinking back on our relationship and found myself perusing Gmail for hours and reading the 100+ emails (which, by the way, isn't even an exaggeration) we sent each during our hopefully last 6-7 month breakup. And you know what? It wasn't even depressing. It didn't make me angry. It just filled me with gratitude and hope and reminded me of how intensely loved I am. Some of them were hilarious, others were like tender lovesick poems. We are the strangest people. I feel very lucky, though.

Now, I am off to shower, friends! I wish you all a good day, and I hope I see all of you soon. And also, now that I am bathing suit equipped I'd really love a pool date soon if anybody would love it. Let me know!

XO

this place has gone to the dogs

The family cabin itself! Formerly known by its business title of Heatherton Lodge.

 

My West Coast vacation is slowly drawing to a close. I just returned from the family cabin, where I've spent the last two days. It was so very nice to be back out there after so long! Everything was exactly the same.

This cluster of trees used to be much thicker, and my siblings and I used to play in the center. It had the very unoriginal name of "the tree house".

Yesterday evening, my dad cracked and bought me a salmon license, despite the fact that I was only going to be in town for another day. One of his friends owns a hay farm, and a very nice and usually plentiful part of the Crabbe's River is on the other side of it, so we went fishing down there. It was pretty gorgeous. The farmers were hauling the hay which was pretty delightful to witness - the bales were gigantic! They also had very pretty clover fields. I found Gerard a giant lump of what I think is pink quartz on the riverbank, and I flyfished for about 2 hours straight with my daddy. Neither of us caught anything, but it was nice to have some daddy/daughter time.

The driveway! 

 

Seeing Myron and Kathy was delightful as well - Myron is a chef, and Kathy is an RN so we had lots of awesome chats about both fields of work, and they were pretty delighted with how much I've grown up. They're pretty much like my American grandparents, I've known them since I was a baby. Friday night we had a pretty typical Skinner family party, at which the number of dogs actually outnumbered the people for awhile (our three dogs, my mom's puppy, and Myron and Kathy's three pure bred English Springer Spaniels.) We were all pretty tipsy.

Some very tipsy adults snacking out. You can't see my mom's face, but I think she wanted it that way.

It was a great trip, but I am pretty excited to get back into the city. I miss my friends, I miss my apartment, I miss my boy. Tomorrow friends! Tomorrow!



 XO

secret life

I'm back in my hometown of Stephenville, and for the first time its actually easy and not a bit strange being home. I'm one of those people who is usually filled with a sickening feeling of dread the second I get into town, and I was surprised this time to just feel very relaxed and very relieved. My days thus far have consisted of delicious BBQ, snuggling four dogs and one cat to death, and hanging out with my parents and my sister's fiancee. Nothing extravagant, just comfortable and relaxing. Exactly what I wanted. Tomorrow, we are off to the cabin for some trout fishing and, well, more BBQ. And quite possibly quite a few drinks and even more laughs.

Also, since I've been out here I've acquired two items that make my life that much happier. The first is a one-piece bathing suit thats actually cute, something I've been looking for all summer. And it was 10 fucking dollars. Wal-Mart, I love you. Mind you, its still a bit busty, but I'd have to swim in a potato bag to hide my chest really.

The second was a gift from my future brother-in-law - a stuffed Fozzy Bear! You know, the Muppets character? I am always gushing about how much I love the Muppets, and he came home from the store with it for me today. Sister, you could not be marrying a sweeter man.

Now I'm off to watch some "House". I've started rewatching the series again. Its the only medical drama I've ever loved! Also, another of the joys of being home? Its the only place I can smoke inside! Which is ironic, since its my dad's house. 'tis why reading & smoking is one of my favorite things ever - I used to do so while curled up in bed. Sigh.

How's the East Coast? How are your lives?

XO

west siiide

The last few weeks, I've had the strongest desire ever to be on the West Coast, for so many reasons. The salmon season is open, which means cabin season for the Skinners... I've pretty much spent 3/4 of every summer since I was a baby at my cabin. And its a place I adore, for so many reasons.

It functions as my dad's hunting lodge in the autumn (a family business thats been ongoing for two generations), and its been a dream of mine to have a party out there since I was a little kid. There are 3 bedrooms, each with 2 beds apiece, the comfiest couch ever, and a fold-out bed. Also, acres of fields behind it to pitch tents on!

Heatherton and Robinson's and the surrounding area are just lovely in general. Its like maybe 5 or 6 little communities, all along one road. Lots of farmland and marshes and rivers pouring out into the ocean.

Somebody in my family owns this plot of land, I don't even remember who. Does it not look like one of those COME VISIT NEWFOUNDLAND ads?

This is the mouth of the Robinson's river, down below my Nanny Delaney's cabin (which I'm sure I'll also be visiting!) This is where my daddy and I usually go sea trout fishing, and man are they tasty!

In less than 24 hours, I'll be home. I am excited to get out of the city and into the countryside for awhile, to just surround myself with beauty and family and tranquility. I'll probably be heading to the cabin on the weekend, as my father is going halibut fishing for two days the day I get out there (this trip was very spontaneous, and halibut is delicious so I'm not upset). But that just means hanging out with my momma, getting fed delicious food, and loving on my dogs, as well as my mom's new puppy, Bailey, who I am in love with already.

EXCITEMENT <3



XO

a bookgasm, but the kinky sort

I'm just biding my time at the library before class, and I've found some pretty lovely creations on the internet. I know Sarah Smith will like this. This is basically just for her, as she is a great lover of taking old books manipulating them into beautiful creations. You should see the Scrapbook she made for me last Christmas! Its been almost 7 months and I still can't stop looking at it. I first found something similar to this in poetry form on Stumble Upon (<3) the other day, and I was pretty entranced. In trying to find the same site again, I found THESE gorgeous creations by a lady named Karen Hatzigeorgiou! You are so fun, madam! Its poetry and art and craft loveliness all wrapped into one! I will post the text for each underneath, as you can't really read them in the images. Look at her website, its gorgeous!

Is it control
over my own mind
so contantly
on the verge
of calling up
peculiar dreads,
apprenhensions,
fears, loathings, pain
or doubt?

I live an imaginative life.
I lavish energy on plans
of minor importance
and build castles in the air
from moment to moment
my secret soul
puts itself in sympathy with
the whole creative tide.
Is not this a thing worthy?

Sew a
thousand
golden threads
over
her
dusty
world

Oh my god, AMAZING. Sometimes I love the internet, especially when it tosses gorgeousness such as this my way. Now it is time for sweet pre-chemistry cigarettes. MY LAST CLASS EVER YAY.

XO

and i feel nothing, not brave.

Jenny Lewis, you are the absolute foxiest of all the ginger foxes to ever roam the Earth. Rilo Kiley make me smile. I can't get this song out of my head today, for some reason.

Its a strange time in life. I have exams coming up, and that inevitable sandstorm of due dates that I usually try to shrug off until the last minute. Well, not this semester. I've been studying as though my life depended on it, and I've already started on several of my essays. Its not all bad, I guess. Its all half-interesting stuff which saves my brain. I have to write an essay on the ethics of organ donation. An assignment for anthropology, in which I basically have to spend 5 days watching people go about their daily lives and take in the sights of city, record it in a journal, then write a 1000 page paper on my experiences (drawing on the rules of fieldwork and anthropological concepts, naturally). And an essay on "1984" and its use of propaganda and fear as political tools. All in all, definitely could be worse! Its all pretty fun, really.

Russian History is a looming cloud, I start June 26th. And my textbook is $114? Vomit. I want the postal strike to end so I can order a second-hand copy online.

In light of recent events, I feel pretty blessed for all my friends. They're pretty and fun and silly, and make me laugh ever so much. They make me feel warm and fuzzy inside. And at the end of the day, I get to come home and be safe and warm in a underground little blue cave with the dorkiest peanut butter gorging sweetheart a girl could ever want. I'm a lucky one. I wish people could take the little things in life and just feel grateful. I was reading a quote the other day that said something along the lines of, if you threw all your problems in a pile, then looked at the problem's of others, you'd be snatching yours back in an awful hurry. Which I think is true. Nothing is ever bad as it seems. You just have to look around you at all the beauty of life.

Well, its back to the grind for me. My apartment smells like bread and coffee, its pleasurable. What's your favorite smell, friends?

XO

particle physics and cookie cutters

Tonight I went to a lecture on the large hadron collider given by Dr. Rolf Heuer, who is the director of CERN, and man was it ever... confusing! Adorable! Confusing! He's super funny and German, and made the stuff about as comprehensible as it can be to a small-minded person such as myself. Shit is way too complex for me to get my head around. As I was saying to Gerard, I like life sciences like biology because they get to the cellular level and pretty much stay there. And I am fine with that.

I am currently job hunting, and its going to be pretty funny to see what my summer career will be. Tutor for disabled children? Home care worker? Barista? Meat cutter? I have applied for pretty much everything, and am so desperate that I will pretty much take anything. Even cutting meat. I just want to pay my rent and live comfortably for the summer.

My chemistry final is rolling around soon, and I am having a hard time resigning myself to the fact that I probably shouldn't leave my house until after its over. However, my lovely Daniel's birthday is this weekend so I can't reasonably barricade myself... if he is reading this, he must sacrifice either weekday Sierra or weekend Sierra! The choice is yours, muffin! I promise you all a smiley happy Sierra at the end of it after all the stress and work I've been doing.

After chemistry is over, I have a political science midterm, and two essays due in the same week. Sigh. At least its better than doing page upon page of enthalpy equations and trying to remember what makes a precipitate and what doesn't. I'd rather write essays, really. I can write a good essay in my sleep.

In other exciting news... my mom has told me recently that shes bestowing upon me her cookie cutter collection. If you knew my fascination with these sacred items as a child, you'd be excited for me. You should be anyway. She has at least a hundred, for every holiday under the sun, and when I was little I used to have so much fun picking out shapes for her to use. I can't even remember them all now, but I can guarantee you'll all be getting silly shaped homemade sugar cookies from me for a very long time after I acquire them.

Anyways, bedtime for me!

XO

make up your mind

So I passed my entrance exam for Eastern College, though calling it an "exam" makes it sound much more threatening than it really was... 30 multiple choice questions on basic English comprehension, and math stuff that included questions such as "What is 50% of 20?". Seriously? It was more fun than stressful. So after I get my criminal record check completed, I'm in! Hooray! Now to get on that.

Tonight I am having an epic study party of one. My second chemistry exam is tomorrow, so I be all like EEK because the thought of that frightens me deeply. I am comforted by the fact that afterwards I can just come home and sleep til Monday if I so wish it.

This weekend, I have epic plans - for doing NOTHING. Seriously, such a stressful week, I just want to sit on my couch in my pink plaid pajamas with movies I've watched 1000 times and catch up on work, and drink copious amounts of tea. So if you want my love, I'll be in my little blue underground haven! Come find me!


XO

songs i can't out of my head

Allan Ford, being the darling he is, has pimped out my iPod to epic proportions. I haven't downloaded music is yeons and I was getting pretty tired of everything on it, to the extent that I could pretty much guess which song was going on next when I had it on "shuffle". It was in serious need of an extensive makeover. Now I get to wander the streets to SO much beautiful music - new albums by bands I love (like Fleet Foxes and the Strokes~), and amazing music by artists I've never listened to before (like Coeur de Pirate, and Bedouin Soundclash). Thank you, Allan, for this marvellous gift.
In the spirit of new music, I have many songs I cannot get out of my head. Here are three that have been looping in and out of my brain the last few days.

Especially pleased with Architecture in Helsinki - SUCH FUN SUMMER MUSIC. Although it doesn't feel at all like summer right now, as its been raining pretty much my entire life and its so foggy I don't know where I am half the time. Sigh. Sun, what did we do to offend you? Please come back.



XO